Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - these are the words by Benjamin Disraeli. Being a victim of drama and bullying, I held true to these words. Those who are courageous, creative, special, and plainly themselves only, are mostly the ones to get bullied, picked on, you name it. I have, and will never be OK with that. Underneath you will read of bullying, it’s effects on both short- and longterm, and how to prevent it from ever happening again, because no one should have to live without self confidence.
The definition of Bullying
The British dictionary explains the noun bully as a person who hurts, persecutes or intimidates weaker people. Wikipedia will tell you that a bully is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally or emotionally and is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. This last definition is probably the best understood.
Bullying is a way to gain power by repeatedly using aggressive or intimidating behavior that will harm another physically, mentally and/or emotionally.
The British dictionary explains the noun bully as a person who hurts, persecutes or intimidates weaker people. Wikipedia will tell you that a bully is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally or emotionally and is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. This last definition is probably the best understood.
Bullying is a way to gain power by repeatedly using aggressive or intimidating behavior that will harm another physically, mentally and/or emotionally.
Kinds of Bullying
Bullying can be classified into four main groups: Physical (anything that involves touch, like hitting or kicking) , Verbal (using one’s voice), Relational (when the bully is trying to destroy the victims relationships with others), and the modern Cyber-bullying (using electronic means, like facebook or email). These four groups can be mixed and matched by the bully, making it possible to be both verbal- and relationally bullied, or physical and cyber-bullied, among other combinations. The first three are often found in primary schools and workplaces, while Cyber-bullying is more often used in secondary education.
Bullying can be classified into four main groups: Physical (anything that involves touch, like hitting or kicking) , Verbal (using one’s voice), Relational (when the bully is trying to destroy the victims relationships with others), and the modern Cyber-bullying (using electronic means, like facebook or email). These four groups can be mixed and matched by the bully, making it possible to be both verbal- and relationally bullied, or physical and cyber-bullied, among other combinations. The first three are often found in primary schools and workplaces, while Cyber-bullying is more often used in secondary education.
The difference between “being mean” and “bullying”.
To be “mean” according to the dictionary is to be offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious. A mean remark is simply something offensive to the listener, and is mostly a one-time-happening. This is directly the link to the difference between just being offensive, and being a bully. Bullying is a repetitive action, in which mean words can be used. To being mean is more of a medium for bullies, than a description. The word repetitive is key in the difference, but that also forms the problem in recognizing mean from bully.
To be “mean” according to the dictionary is to be offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious. A mean remark is simply something offensive to the listener, and is mostly a one-time-happening. This is directly the link to the difference between just being offensive, and being a bully. Bullying is a repetitive action, in which mean words can be used. To being mean is more of a medium for bullies, than a description. The word repetitive is key in the difference, but that also forms the problem in recognizing mean from bully.
Effects of Bullying
Short term Effects
The short term effects can be further categorized in emotional, physical en social effects. Starting with emotion problems on short term are feeling alone, helpless and a lower self-esteem among others. If the victim is still in school, their results (in terms of grades) can lower to the point of leaving school early. In extreme cases the lower self-esteem and emotional problems can lead to self harm or even suicide.
Physical effects can be, in the case of physical bullying, bruises, and broken bones among others. Mostly the victim’s posture deteriorates, (one walks and moves the way they’re feeling,) creating back problems and headaches. A victim can actually become sick of the bullying, turning ill because of badly taking care of themselves, and most become selfless due to their low self-esteem to the point of unconsciously putting themselves in danger.
Then there’s the social effects. Most victims have problems with acquiring and/or maintaining relationships, because of fears and suspicion of other individuals. This can lead to lacking social skills and further deteriorating of trusting others, creating a loop. Another effect can be the loosing of friends, in case of relational bullying.
Long term Effects
Most victims hold a permanent fear for schools (or workplaces), names or even genders. They develop fear of failing at things, making them vulnerable to stress, depression and burning out. In case of lacking social skills, relationships are a difficult thing to maintain. Recent studies have shown that the effects of bullying are even noticeable after a period of 40 years, due to braindamage, though longer research will have to be conducted into this matter.
Short term Effects
The short term effects can be further categorized in emotional, physical en social effects. Starting with emotion problems on short term are feeling alone, helpless and a lower self-esteem among others. If the victim is still in school, their results (in terms of grades) can lower to the point of leaving school early. In extreme cases the lower self-esteem and emotional problems can lead to self harm or even suicide.
Physical effects can be, in the case of physical bullying, bruises, and broken bones among others. Mostly the victim’s posture deteriorates, (one walks and moves the way they’re feeling,) creating back problems and headaches. A victim can actually become sick of the bullying, turning ill because of badly taking care of themselves, and most become selfless due to their low self-esteem to the point of unconsciously putting themselves in danger.
Then there’s the social effects. Most victims have problems with acquiring and/or maintaining relationships, because of fears and suspicion of other individuals. This can lead to lacking social skills and further deteriorating of trusting others, creating a loop. Another effect can be the loosing of friends, in case of relational bullying.
Long term Effects
Most victims hold a permanent fear for schools (or workplaces), names or even genders. They develop fear of failing at things, making them vulnerable to stress, depression and burning out. In case of lacking social skills, relationships are a difficult thing to maintain. Recent studies have shown that the effects of bullying are even noticeable after a period of 40 years, due to braindamage, though longer research will have to be conducted into this matter.
How to stop bullying
Programs
There are many programs and policies found over different countries stop bullying, mostly used in schools, but also to lessen the harassing on the work floor. The go from word-association games, to the keeping of diaries in later grades, to stories and special therapeutic homework-assignments in the lower grades. The most important however is to prevent bullying from ever happening. For these there are also programs in all shapes and sizes.
When to start
To prevent bullying is a difficult task. This is because it starts with people that are very young: most already fall victim in primary school (at age 6 or higher). The importance of using programs is to start as early as possible, the first day, if you’d ask me, to try and prevent it. Starting later will have little effect when the bullying has already started, because the bully him-/herself will not likely want to warm up to the idea.
Do programs and policies work?
Whether anti-bullying programs and policies work, is something that is debated over to this day. Some say it has little to no effect, while others say it might have to opposite effect. Fact is that to minimize the damage left by bullies, prevention is always better than halting. Time is of the essence, in both preventing and picking out the victims of a bully to support and help them.
Programs
There are many programs and policies found over different countries stop bullying, mostly used in schools, but also to lessen the harassing on the work floor. The go from word-association games, to the keeping of diaries in later grades, to stories and special therapeutic homework-assignments in the lower grades. The most important however is to prevent bullying from ever happening. For these there are also programs in all shapes and sizes.
When to start
To prevent bullying is a difficult task. This is because it starts with people that are very young: most already fall victim in primary school (at age 6 or higher). The importance of using programs is to start as early as possible, the first day, if you’d ask me, to try and prevent it. Starting later will have little effect when the bullying has already started, because the bully him-/herself will not likely want to warm up to the idea.
Do programs and policies work?
Whether anti-bullying programs and policies work, is something that is debated over to this day. Some say it has little to no effect, while others say it might have to opposite effect. Fact is that to minimize the damage left by bullies, prevention is always better than halting. Time is of the essence, in both preventing and picking out the victims of a bully to support and help them.